Art and Craft

Sometimes, I wonder what I'm doing here at this job of mine. It's enjoyable, yet very dead-end. I can't ever see my boss promoting me, giving me more responsibility, or even giving me a living wage (which I think I would have earned after almost 6 years of faithful service). Conversely, I wonder if God keeps waiting for me to get off my butt and actually do something.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." -- Phil 4:13

So, why don't I do all things (or even something) with Christ's strength in me? Seriously here. Why don't I? I think that keep waiting for God to come down and say, "DO THIS!" Well, he could do that, but I feel that so often I wait on Him and He's waiting on me. Yeah, that's right -- God is waiting on me. Why? Probably because I'm lazy, weak, and fearful. Why? Probably because I don't trust myself and I'm too practical sometimes to actually live in/with faith. And that's really sad on many levels -- emotionally, spiritually, theologically, not to mention just sad that I have so much to offer an employer (or the world around me with my talents) and I can't bring myself to do anything.

I talk big sometimes, mostly to fool myself, sometimes I do so because I'm hoping that my friends (or even God) throw out a lifeline to this floundering soul. I talk about plans, dreams, goals, aspirations, ideas, and other such things in an attempt to have my friends say, "Hey there friend. I think you CAN do those things and I want to encourage you. I'd even like to help you by giving you this swift kick in the butt." And I'd (hopefully) respond and say, "Thanks!" But mostly, I think that I talk big to fool myself into thinking that, if I wait one more day, suffer through one more shift at a job that I increasingly abhor, or even pray one more prayer for a new job, God will reward me with the time to work on my art and craft.


And that kind of thinking, dear friends, is pure, unadulterated, Grade-A, USDA certified, FDA approved HORSE CRAP!

(And BTW, I really thought about employing an expletive there, but I'm working on reducing my usage of those a bit....)

God has already supplied me with the resources, abilities, and talent, but I think that He's waiting to see if I'll supply the energy, drive, and desire to actually do something. And I hope that He does wait -- He didn't create me to be an automaton. He created me to be a thinking, acting, creating being with the free will to choose to love Him in all that I do. Moreover, my love for Him is/should be made evident through my usage of what He's given me. However, the sad part is that I fail more than I succeed. But the good part is that He loves me anyway and just wishes that I would get off my fat ass, do something, and stop whining about not having enough "time." Hmmmm.... Time....

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