Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Sharing and the Fear of Doing So

I think that what I like most, so far, about this blogging world into which I've immersed myself is the sharing. Yes, I like sharing -- something that Robert Fulgham says that we should have learned to do back in Kindergarten. Furthermore, I think that the REASON that I love sharing so much is that I didn't get to for so long. When you're locked in a fundamentalist church culture (or any church culture) that denies you the right to question the status quo for any reason at all, you don't feel comfortable talking about what you're really thinking about (unless it's how GREAT the "move of God" was on Sunday night). To have questions is to be anathema. To have thoughts that "aren't right" isn't right.

And more than anything, I think that's what burdens so many people in such a church environment -- when they don't understand, they don't know who to talk to about it. Oh, they're told that they should talk to "Pastor" or "pray through" at the altar, but what kinds of answers are those? Yes, you should go to your pastor or pastors for counseling/advice/direction, but why can't we talk to our friends about these things (a concept referred to in the KJV as confess)? We're locked into a church culture predicated upon fear -- we're afraid to look unholy, so we don't question anything or ask the questions that we DO have. Even more so, we're so afraid that anyone that we talk to about our questions is going to probably gossip about us and spread to the whole church that we're a sinner who has questions and "isn't right with God".

I hope that no one thinks that I'm slamming my church heritage (because I'm not), but I'm not the only one who's experienced this and many people I've talked to who have experienced this are NOT from the same church background as myself. Why are people afraid to not know? Why are people afraid to share with others that they don't know? Of course, I've gotten over that fear to a certain extent, except for the fact that my Mom and I still can't have a spiritual discussion. We don't quite speak the same "language" anymore and I'm still not comfortable with knowing that my Mom doesn't consider me saved anymore since I'm not Pentecostal. But that's something else to share with others about.

I want to share. Anyone else want to share with me?


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